It doesn't seem to make any difference at all how fully you understand that someone is seriously ill and likely to die, when the time comes, it is still a shock. Mother in Law died at 9.50am today. She had been in a dementia care home for just over two years. At the beginning of February she decided that she no longer wanted to eat or drink and quite honestly other than tube feeding, there was not a lot that anyone could do to change things. Her sisters were visiting regularly and reported that she was "drifting away", staring through the window and hardly speaking. She would have the occasional spoonful of ice cream, but not not nearly enough to keep even a bird alive. I did my research and it seems that this is not unusual in late stage Alzheimer sufferers, the brain can apparently stop sending out hunger, thirst and even pain messages to the body. It is such a cruel disease.
She is at peace now, no more confusion or fear.