Friday, 1 January 2010

Happy New Year

A new year and a new decade has dawned with bright sunshine here in Dorset, we wish you all a peaceful, fullfilling and happy 2010.

Our new year will begin as we ended the last, with a visit to the Cotwolds. The medical people were right, Mother in law is no longer able to look after herself. They are sure that her memory has been deteriorating for a very long time but she has been cleverly disguising it - not wanting anyone to know. There are moments of complete mental clarity, followed by total confusion and frustration, it is so difficult to watch. When I asked how her arthritic knees were she replied, "they're absolutely fine, it's my head that doesn't work!" And that is her frustration, she knows that things are not working properly but can do nothing to change it. However, in one moment of clarity, she did almost persuade the visiting Vicar that she too was a visitor and almost hitched a lift home from him - extraordinary!

Now we need to attend to all of the legal red tape involved in making sure that she can be looked after properly by fully trained staff in a comfortable and inspiring environment, a process that will take  weeks or months no doubt. Meanwhile she will wait in a hospital bed not really understanding where she is or why and worrying about her dogs. We have written a long list of answers to her worries - "your dogs are with your sister in Wales", "I have your red coat, it is being cleaned" etc., to ease her fretting. Before we left she had read the notes a dozen times or more, it is so painful to witness a previously proud and capable woman having to try so hard to make herself remember.

So tomorrow we return to the Cotswolds to take extra clothing for her, she originally only took enough  to the hospital for a short stay. This is how we shall begin the new decade that started last night with such fantastic promise, a partial eclipse of an amazing full moon, a sight that apparently will not happen again for another 18 years.


Weavin' Wicker Woman said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this about your mother-in-law Kim. Mine just fell on New Year's Eve and cracked a lower vertebra in her back. Is also staying in a hospital for a few days, but will probably have to go to a nursing home since she can't get around now.

So sad, she's a vibrant 81 year old and except for being on oxygen 24 x 7, she was doing really well.

It's difficult dealing with our ailing parents, trying to make a living and spending time with our children and grandchildren, too.

Best of luck, happiness and prosperity to you both in the coming New Year!

The Wicker Woman ® - Cathryn Peters
Minnesota, USA

The Bottomer said...

Thank you Cathryn, I really do appreciate your understanding. Now we are home from our wintery visit, in our efforts to make sense of it all, we are reading notes that she has kept for 30 years, including letters that I wrote to her when I was just 21! It isn't helping us right now, but as you say, we will find the time and strength to cope somehow.